As uncool as it is to admit this, I actually like Facebook. I'm good at it, too (and not in a way that bombards you with Super Wall posts or high-fives). I reply to messages, I make all the right comments about people's holiday photos, I ignore the ads and I never join those 'I'll-change-my-name-to-nobhead-if-10,000-people-sign-up' groups. But, above all of that, I always update my status. Religiously. And I read everyone else's too. I've even been known to drop Facebook friends if they start relying too heavily on the '...is glad it's the weekend/...wants to win the lottery/...is pleased the sun is out' drivel. (Let that be a warning to you.)
That said, I have reached a dilemma. Because, really – apart from the obvious – what have I got to say in my status updates at the moment? I've just looked back through my mini-feed, and it's clear I've been using them as little more than a convenient way to keep people posted with the cancer shizzle. Granted, it's saved me sending the same how-I'm-doing email over and over (and been a sneaky method of force-updating the usually-in-touch people who've chosen to ignore my predicament), but are my boobs and side-effects really the kind of thing people want to read about in a status update? I suspect not. On the other hand, I did receive a very infuriating 'oh-it-must-be-lovely-not-having-to-go-to-work' email this morning, and it was all I could do to stop myself updating my status to: 'L would like to remind certain people that chemo recovery does not involve sunbathing, lunching or toenail-paining. Such things are difficult to manage when you can't have a piss without needing a nap, all your joints are numb and it feels like your skin may puncture at the slightest touch.' (I'm not kidding about that email, by the way. It's now right up there with an equally inappropriate one which went something like: 'Blimey, cancer. Hope it's not really awful. Anyway, my life is amazing!' Suffice to say, two less people on my friends list.)
The thing is, I've always worked on the assumption that, whatever it is, it's better to know about it. (The truth may hurt, but it's always preferable to know when your skirt is tucked into your knickers, right?) Which makes the adding-new-friends thing a tricky one at the moment. When making Facebook ties with someone I've not seen in a long time, I normally make an effort to drop them the usual courtesy message or wall-post along the 'Hey you! Long time! How's things?' lines, but lately I've been failing on that front too. Because where exactly, in the expected roll-call of relationship/kids/career updates, should you squeeze in 'oh yeah, and did I mention that I've got breast cancer'? Nobody wants to hear that kind of news when making touch with a long-lost (and probably for good reason) acquaintance who you're really only in contact with to find out whether they've gained weight/got hitched/had kids/come out/moved abroad/lost the dodgy piercings since school.
So perhaps, then, I'll ditch my scheduled Facebook update of 'L has still got cancer, just in case you wanted to know' and instead plump for 'L is having a crisis of status'. It's not smart and it's not funny but, hey, it's better than 'L is looking forward to the weekend.'