25 things.

I know, I know, this is a poor excuse for a post, but in my defence: (a) I've had an unusually busy few days (more of this later in the week), (b) I've been emailed this '25 Things You Might Not Know About Me' exercise so many times that finally giving in will put an end to it and (c) since I've previously owned up to (i) filling in The Guardian Weekend's Q&A with my own answers and (ii) being a sucker for reply-to-all email questionnaires, I figure the ghost is long since given up, so I'm going in.

1. In my head, these answers are actually for the This Much I Know feature in The Observer Magazine.
2. I am completely in love with Stevie Wonder.
3. In a recent daily phonecall from my Dad, he opened with, 'Now, about this tattoo.'  'Oh heck,' I thought, 'Here we go.'  'There's something I'm afraid I'm going to have to insist on,' he went on. 'Well, this conversation was inevitable,' I figured, 'You knew this was coming. Just let it play out.'  'What I must insist about the tattoo,' continued Dad, 'Is that I pay for it. That way I can't whinge about it, because it will have been my doing.'
4. The above point is news to my Mum.
5. I eat Skittles in reverse order of preference. The purples, the greens, the yellows, then – because I can't decide which is best – a mix of orange and red.
6. I have never seen Gone With The Wind.
7. I got nervous and messed up at the first funeral I ever went to. After the service, I walked along the greeting line, panicking about what to say to the mourning family I didn't know. 'Thanks for coming,' they were saying to each well-wishing person. I hurriedly tried to lip-read the kind, supportive words that the rest of the congregation were offering, but all I could make out were the family's replies. 'Good to see you, thanks for coming.'  'That's nice of you to say, thanks for coming.' When I reached the first relative in line, I froze. He put out his hand for me to shake. 'Oh. Erm. Thanks for coming,' I mumbled. I don't think he heard me, but I was mortified and I've continually kicked myself about it since. (This coming from the girl who's just written a feature on the best thing to say when your mate has been diagnosed with cancer. Still, I like to think I've learned something about compassion over the last 15 years. Or months. Whatever.)
8. I bumped the car yesterday, reversing into a concrete post. Parallel parking ace. Three-point turn dunce.
9. I worry that I will never again have nice nails. 
10. Now that my hair is growing back, I've changed my Wii Fit character to reflect my new look. My Mii has a short crop, pretty eyes, lipstick and a blue jumper.
11. I haven't had a period for five months. A year ago, this would have meant there was something to celebrate.
12. I am amused and appalled in equal measure that I am officially no longer a young person. Over the past six months, I've turned off Radio 1 because it was too shouty, started listening to Radio 4, said the words 'all new music is crap' and begun to check the regular news before the entertainment news. All that said, I am strangely addicted to Hollyoaks and fancy the boys in the new cast of Skins.
13. Never engage me in conversation when I am walking down stairs. I'm afraid of them, and cope by counting the steps in my head.
14. I have a crush on Nick Frost.
15. I once met Pete Doherty. He was handsome and charming, and he poured me a whiskey from the bar he was standing behind. Neither of us paid for it.
16. The monthly Barnet Bulletin came about after a dear friend of mine tagged a photo of me on Facebook. It was a miserable day, and I was looking back at a snap of a fat lass in a wig. It made me cry. I'm not one for ever having cross words with my friends, but I kicked up a small fuss about it. And then felt awful for being such a tosser to my wonderful mate. There I was crying at a photograph of myself effectively in disguise, when what lay underneath it was just as unpleasant. I figured it was time to slowly come out of hiding my appearance, took the first photo of myself sans-wig, posted it online and sent it to my friend with an apology.
17. I don't like talking on the phone (except to my folks and brother).
18. I wrote to Jim'll Fix It, asking if he could arrange for me to meet Paul Young. But the day after I sent the letter, someone else was on the show doing just that. A while later, I received a package in the post that contained a year's membership to the Paul Young fan club and a framed photo, signed with the message: 'To Lisa. Sorry Jim couldn't fix-it for you. Love you. Paul Young.' I've still got it.
19. My Nan made pickled onions for Brian Clough. I mention this fact whenever possible.
20. I lived in Norway for six months. While there, I was irritated (I'm stopping short of 'stalked') by a polite but worrying man who would follow me to the supermarket, then call me to tell me what I'd been buying and said he had a photograph of me on his notice board. I was also woken up one night by a commotion in the corridor of our top-floor level of bedsit flats. A man had broken in and was holding a knife up to a girl on our floor. Two of the boys wrestled him to the ground, pretty easily. The man was drunk and probably on a fair bit of medication, having run away from the local hospital for the mentally ill. Despite these events, my time in Norway was among the loveliest of my life.
21. I recommend online social networks as a form of therapy. I discovered Facebook while off work following a miscarriage. I discovered Twitter after being diagnosed with breast cancer. Both made me feel a little better.
22. When I was a child, I misheard the Karma Chameleon lyric as: 'You're my lover, not my trifle.'
23. As each day passes, my left tit gets closer to its normal colour.
24. I've somewhat foolishly decided to do the Cancer Research UK Race for Life this July. It's a 5k run round Hyde Park and it's going to kill me. Seriously, in my lard-arsed, sofa-bound, exercise-starved world, beating breast cancer is nothing compared to this. Please help. 
25. While I've been writing this post, my mate Busby has completed a far cooler 'What Does Your Music Library Say About You?' quiz. Dammit. This thing ain't over.