Tuesday, 8 June 2010

Alright Back.

Since I’m switching frantically between chirpy optimism and Hulk-like pissed-offness on this holiday, I’ll leave it to you to choose which of these two postcards you prefer...

First, the ferfuckssake-I-must’ve-been-a-dictator-in-a-former life postcard:

Well. So much for my getting-over-cancer super-holiday. I’m over cancer all right. Lying in a hospital bed in Mexico with a broken back. All thanks to slipping on condensation on the beautiful marble floor of our hotel room. A proper cartoon fall, too, launching into the air and landing thwack on my spine. I s’pose that’ll teach me for telling everyone I’d be having one hell of a summer... just this wasn’t exactly the kind of hell I had in mind. (So long Glasto...) So I’m not writing this postcard from beside a pool, but instead from beside a bedpan. Less ‘wish you were here’; more ‘wish I was there’. I’d finish this postcard by asking when I’m going to catch a break... but it seems I’ve got that covered already.

See you as soon as I’m declared fit to fly,

Lisa x

And now, the seeing-the-world-through-rose-tinted-morphine postcard:

Just a quick hello from sunny May-hee-co to tell you what it’s like out here. Hotel is amazing. In fact, I’m head-over-heels about it. As planned, I’ve been spending a lot of time on my back and my wishes to stay here a little longer have, surprisingly, been granted – we won’t be home as early as Thursday after all. It’s been more eventful than we’d expected, but P and I came out here to move beyond The Bullshit – and we’ve sure as hell managed it. That said, it wasn’t quite the break we expected. Will tell you more when we get home but one thing’s for sure: this was nacho average vacation...

Love and kisses (no hugs though),

Lucky Lisa x

I know, I know. I can't believe it either. Anything for a second book, eh? But meh; it's like I said once before: them's the breaks.

17 comments:

madsadgirl said...

Life is really throwing you some curve balls. You just don't deserve this. I do hope that you will be back with us soon and and that life picks up for you.

notquiteginger said...

if it helps - I'm looking forward to the book already.... Hope you're home and on the mend soon x (from the one who abandoned her son and child to read your book cover to cover in 2 days)

Quarkmonkey said...

http://www.tiny.cc/getlisaanipad

Just saying...

Anonymous said...

I hope it's not related to the bullshit (weak bones can be a sign of secondaries) - don't want to scare you and reallllly hope it's not!

alhi said...

Oh shit. Hope you're going to be OK.

Anonymous said...

Is this a wind up? Are you like the ugly man, Bete de Jour, a fraud? I hope not. Get better soon, if you're for real.

billy said...

Good to see you haven't broken your spirit!

And you have managed to get on the interweb, so keep your worried readers posted.

Do you know how long you will be there for? I wish you a speedy recovery. x

Anonymous said...

Lisa, long term lurker wishing you the very best of luck in your recovery (or should that be recoveries now) and please give us more details soon so we know just how worried we should be.

Sarah

(In the spirit of your last line Time to stop drawing attention to yourself already!)

Lily said...

Ouch!! Definitely not the best way to be spending your holiday. Hopefully you'll be on the mend quickly! x

Lisa Lynch said...

Anonymous, I can assure you that this is no hoax. (Sheesh, how I wish it were.) There's even pictoral evidence of the whole sorry thing on www.twitter.com/alrighttit

'Sofa Karen...' said...

Oh Lisa....how UNFAIR!! I'm sure there would have been other ways you could have moved beyond the Bullshit. Hope you get off your back soon and the book offer is on it's way!
xx

jpattencoble said...

I guess this is the definition of "It is what it is"!

Anonymous said...

Lisa, Wishing you well very, very soon. Love and prayers coming your way.

MBNAD woman said...

Oh bugger.

I wished you a summer of fun and inappropriate footwear ... but you can't even blame this on the Louboutins.

Wishing you well soon.

Mad x

Helene said...

I quess you are now well-known with the Mexican health-system and can give pointers on the do's and the don't's.

Yeah, would love another book! I couldn't put "the C-word" down and almost missed my subwaystop one morning on my way to work!! :D

StevenJ said...

Hi Lisa,

I've just read "The C Word" lying on the beach in Spain. Not my usual holiday read but I've never read a more compelling book - I couldn't put it down. You should have seen people looking at a 38 year old bloke with tears rolling down his face reading the thanks at the end...!

I wanted to come on and see how you were doing - I can't believe your luck. I hope you make a speedy recovery and all the best for the future.

xx

Clare said...

Oh no you poor thing! That is such horrendously bad luck. I hope you're being looked after well, que te mejores pronto! (get well soon).